Journal 3

Journal 3

The most recent argument that I have made was one with my mother. In which, I must admit, those arguments are often times the best kind of arguments. The argument was whether it is the right choice to be in a relationship during college. My opinion is that it is fine as long as it does not interrupt with school, while my mother absolutely opposed the idea claiming that the only focus a student should have is on academia.

My reasons for saying why I feel that is fine as long as it does not interrupt with school are the following: school will always come first, although school is very important, a student should a life outside of it, and lastly, you can’t live in a box all your life.
On my first line of support, my assumption is that school will always come first only in the event that the relationship does not become too complicated. I assume that it is all “smooth sailing”. Which, rightfully, I was wrong to assume because relationships never work that way. For my second point, I am assuming that being a relationship is the only kind of life I can have outside of school. That is clearly wrong because friends work just fine. As for my last point, the assumption I am making is that not being in a relationship means one lives in a box. That is faulty (and I do admit my weakest point of the argument). The only evidence I have had is that I know many students who can keep up with their grades and be in a relationship at the same time. Although I cannot show clear data, it is my integrity that basically carries the support of my claims.

In opposition to my argument, my mother’s reasons to say that a student’s only focus must be on school are the following: relationships make like more complicated, thus school will become either less important or I will be too stressed out (which was a point that countered my first), there is time for life outside of school when I’m done with school, when one is in school he/she should focus on school and nothing else.
With her first point, the assumption she made was that the relationship may become complicated (something that obviously cannot be proven or disproven). Her second point bears the assumption that the time I have after school will have enough time for a relationship. The final point about one should focus on nothing except school while a student is that she assumes that the mind can tolerate nothing else but school.
Her only evidence was that she is an adult and she knows what she is talking about. (Also, I have admitted to her once that I find it extremely odd that no matter what, in the end she is right.) The her being right point was one that really solidified her argument.

The areas where both our arguments went wrong were we did not want to understand the other person’s views. I did not want to see, nor understand her claims because frankly, I was so caught up in my own views that I blocked hers out. I’m pretty adamant in the belief that she felt the same way. Knowing my mother, what she thinks is always right and nothing will change that. In essence, it is the relationship that flaws our argument. As the adult, she will always believe she knows what is best for me and nothing can change that. As the child, I will tend to believe that she lives in the past and doesn’t know what she is talking about. But the worst part of it is, I will think about the argument later and try to understand her point.